Sometimes the conflicts and fights are so strong, that the relationship reaches a stalemate from which it cannot get out. All divorces are caused by that stalemate. Where the feelings of both are completely extinguished. But what happens to feelings after divorce? Do they return to normal or stay off forever?
Living the mourning of a separation is necessary, regardless of whether the sufferer is a man or a woman and after that it is normal to continue with life and start new relationships.
If you are dating a divorced man and you have doubts regarding everything that has to do with his process and possible attitudes, we will help you solve them.
How does divorce affect men?
Going through a divorce is a hard thing that can sometimes greatly affect the emotions of those involved. Because you have to keep in mind, that for the divorce to finally happen, the relationship had to have been damaged for a long time. Man and woman living inside the same house where they became the worst enemies. And these types of experiences leave many repercussions on the emotional health of both.
Like women, a divorce also seriously affects men. However, both have a very different way of coping with situations: While women take refuge in our family and friends, we cry, we feel the pain, we give ourselves the necessary time to fulfill the loving grief and then we heal and become the same again… Men don’t like that.
For their part, men are a little less expressive. They will not inconsolably seek the support of their family or friends, even though they may feel their latent pain. Yes, they will cry and they will suffer, but they will be a little more withdrawn so as not to let him see it. And when they finally recover, most of their feelings are damaged.
The trust and devotion they once felt for a woman can hardly be restored. Making the work much more expensive for some new woman who comes into her life in the next few years.
What to expect from a relationship with a divorced man?
Now, if you are starting a relationship with a divorced man, you must arm yourself with great courage and ask yourself, “Do I really love this man enough?” And it is something that you must be 1000% honest with yourself, because one more crack for your heart will be the end for the few emotions you have left.
Therefore, if you take on the task of making your man the same as before, smiling again, and feeling all the emotions on the surface, keep in mind that it will cost you time, effort and a lot of dedication. But when you finally manage to break down all the emotional walls that your guy has around him, he will thank you by making you the happiest woman in the world.
At first, it will be very difficult for me to trust you completely. Do not reproach him, but let him know that he can count on you for everything, that you will never fail him or betray him. It is better that you prove it daily with deeds and not just words. In addition, the signs of affection such as gifts or details will be very limited, and do not expect it to be affectionate being on the street.
Patience and more patience! With your help and with the love you have for him, you will see how little by little everything will change in his relationship. And that fear of committing again will disappear completely and be yours again. Sooner than you think, harmony will reign in your home and it will seem as if your heart has never been broken.
What does a divorced man look for in a relationship?
When a relationship ends, it begins an unstable stage for the man that he would often like to eliminate or resolve quickly. This is not something that happens with all men but, for the most part, after a divorce they try to find a partner who will provide them with support, love and stability.
- This stability tries to resemble a lot to the one you had before the divorce and this is due to the habit that you had been handling, it is your known world and you try to bring it back. Of course, this emotion and mirror does not mean that you want to have a copy of your ex-partner, no. What man tries to seek is the stability he had before problems, regardless of the person who provides it.
Support and understanding
This is of utmost importance for the man, who normally does not like loneliness, much less after a divorce. He also tries to find some kind of support that makes him feel that what happened is not totally his fault and somehow or another try to get rid of responsibilities in the face of the situation.
If you’re dating a man who just got divorced, give him support that doesn’t have judgment. However, this support must be responsible, that is, it does not free you from guilt or responsibility, since there are behaviors that you must surely improve and you can only do it through recognition.
Stability
Stability is a key factor due to the fact that man has been going through problems that have him on a rollercoaster of actions and emotions. Getting calm after so much chaos is something that everyone wants and values.
Sexuality
Something that really never lacks in the mind of man. It is normal for them to be more active in the sexual area and this is also because they use it as an escape from the situation that helps them drain energy and stay a little calmer and more relaxed.
How to improve a relationship with a divorcee?
You already know what attitudes your partner may have at the beginning of their relationship, but what can you do to improve the relationship between you?
- Keep in mind that their attitudes are based on their old relationships. It is important that you do not compare yourself with his former wife and for this you must let her know that you are you and no one else.
- Be patient and do not demand things from him that he is not prepared to give. This will only make him feel cornered and insecure and push him away. Thank them for each new gesture, and let them know that you appreciate and love their efforts.
- Show affection, respect, and love with each passing day.
- Talk to him daily, communicate all your problems and concerns. So, he will know that you see him as someone primary in your life.
Find out what stage of your divorce you are at
Everything that ends or ends must comply with the respective stage of grief in order to heal the emotions that are generated and have the strength and emotional stability necessary to start a new path.
Grief goes through 5 important stages and in each of these stages’ emotions move that have to be drained to overcome them effectively. Knowing what stage of divorce your partner is at will help you understand the attitudes they are presenting and will also guide you so that you can help them if necessary.
Denial stage
The denial stage arises almost immediately after loss or separation. It can present with a state of shock and a dullness that is usually both emotional and cognitive.
At this stage the affected person does not accept the fact of the loss and cannot assimilate it. Another type of manifestation occurs when the affected person is aware of the loss, he has suffered but does not associate its importance with it and acts as if nothing had happened.
Another manifestation is the rapid acceptance of what happened, where unconsciously what is about is to avoid the pain produced by the loss and deny feeling.
Anger stage
Anger occurs when after the acceptance of the loss feelings of frustration arise for not being able to change reality. Commonly it is about looking for external culprits or you can get to blame yourself.
In order to overcome this stage with satisfaction, it is necessary that all the feeling of anger be lived and drained in the best way. Negotiation stage
This stage lasts a short time and is based on the desire or illusion to do something so that reality is different. Promises can be made to God, information about it can be sought elsewhere, and it is even a matter of changing one’s attitude to obtain other results that in the end will be in vain.
In the negotiation stage, there are also often fantasies of what would have happened if we had acted differently.
Stage of depression
In the stage of depression, the person realizes that he has lost something and there is nothing that can be done about it. Faced with this, a cascade of nostalgia, sadness and pain develops that lead the person to remain isolated for a while.
When this stage cannot be overcome properly, the confinement becomes prolonged and depression could extend more than necessary.
Acceptance stage
This stage is an understanding of what happened. The person is aware of the whole process that has happened, of the loss that occurred and that in one way or another life continues.
The stage of acceptance leaves a state of peace in the midst of pain and although there are still things to heal, tranquility takes the baton in all emotions.
