Relationships always go through adversities that can certainly be difficult to overcome. They may not know how to do it, they may despair, and they may often wonder how to overcome a relationship crisis and regain the marriage they had.
This may not be easy, nor may it be a light decision, however these situations can be the opportunity to mature together and take you to a new stage in the relationship.
First of all, it is important to identify if the couple’s problem can be saved, or if on the contrary it requires a total breakup. You also have to consider whether the two of you are willing to fight for it. Because if there is no solution, the best thing to do is to accept it and continue.
If you need to identify how to save your marriage or overcome a relationship crisis, it will be important that you pay attention to each guideline below.
How to identify if the relationship with my partner is cold or frayed
Identify when a relationship has frayed:
- It has become a routine and habit.
- You’re bored with their relationship.
- The excitement is gone between you.
- They have become more arguments than passive conversations.
- Other things are more interesting than spending time together.
- There is no longer intimacy as a couple.
How to Solve My Relationship Problems in a Mature Way
Be consistent and don’t try to win every argument
Certainly, the idea is not to always be right, so it is often necessary to look at the situation from another perspective to identify the mistakes that each one is making.
It is well known that a relationship is about a team and, therefore, the responsibility to take care of the well-being of the relationship goes to both parties. So, assuming that sometimes we make a mistake during an argument is healthy and the best option to calm the atmosphere.
Treat the problems of the past honestly
No one owns other people’s actions, especially not within a relationship. A fundamental thing you should do if you want to overcome a relationship crisis is to leave the past behind.
There’s no point in wanting to bring him back! This will only rekindle old dislikes that can no longer be compensated, increasing the tension between the two and hindering communication and intimacy.
Also, leave external problems out of your relationship, it doesn’t bring anything good to vent the frustrations of work with your partner; which is very different from seeking their support and opinion. It is important not to allow alien situations to settle between the two of you and distance you without a valid reason.
If you have mistaken, acknowledge them!
Making mistakes is natural and no one can deny that, however we know that the difficult thing is to face them and recognize that we really make them.
The important thing here is that if you want to solve the problems with your partner, you need to start with the problems that you have been dragging with you, make a self-analysis of the failures that harm your life as a couple and accept it in order to move forward.
Time flies, don’t let it pass
That is why you should take advantage of every second next to the person you once chose to share your life and your happiness. Well, part of what it means to have a healthy and mature relationship is to put pride aside and not drag out crises that are still in time to be solved.
The best thing to do is to attack the problem as soon as it is notorious and commit to each other to change things for the better.
If more problems arise, go to couples therapy
Sometimes the answers refuse to come on their own and no matter how much you try to find them on your own, it is much more mature to accept that they do not succeed and get professional support, trained to guide them and help them listen and understand each other again.
Communication is one of the most important things
And the sincerest sign of wanting to overcome a relationship crisis from maturity, despite how sensitive and intimidating it can be to expose your concerns and feelings.
It’s completely understandable if the words don’t come out at first. Just remember that they’ll need to get out before it’s too late.
Keep that conversation pending now and talk honestly about what’s going on for both of you.
If problems are not clarified, they accumulate
Almost scientifically proven, what is not said in time ends up getting stuck in us and there is nothing worse for a relationship than accumulating problems one after the other.
Most likely, they are going to explode sooner or later and when they do, it will not be in the best way or at the right time.
So, what should I do if my relationship is in crisis?
To regain love in a couple or recover a relationship in crisis, you always have to take action on the matter. More than talking and saying what is going to be changed, the important thing is that it has to be done. Well, in the end, that’s what counts and makes you mend or save a damaged relationship.
Steps to Rebuilding a Relationship and Saving a Failing Marriage
-Desire to resolve the matter. To initiate any change, it is important to have the enthusiasm to want to do it. At least one reason why they want to save this relationship in crisis. And as mentioned above, it’s important for both of you to have this motivation.
-Identify what the problem is. Discuss the issue together with your partner. Look at your weaknesses and how this is affecting you. Take into account even the smallest thing to solve it. This way it won’t become much more serious.
-Talk openly about it. Be honest with each other, always with a lot of humility and patience. Listen to each other without interrupting or getting ahead of yourself. It is important to rescue effective communication between the two, as they will increase trust and respect in the couple.
-Come up with the solution to the problem. Now that you’ve determined the matter, it’s time to analyze how you’ll attack it in order to eliminate it completely and avoid finding yourself in a similar situation. The basis here is the commitment of both parties to their actions.
-Set clear objectives and goals. Set yourself new things to do or accomplish as a couple. Since the conflict could be caused by a lack of goals as a couple, causing a repetitive and boring routine. So, get out of this.
-Reflect, forgive, and respect each other. Reinforcing these values will help heal and regain a frayed relationship.
-Comply with your change and motivate yourselves with humility. Work on bringing about the agreed-upon change and show that you are doing it to save your damaged relationship. Help each other and don’t criticize if any of you have slipped in any way.
-Regain your intimacy as a couple. Do something different than usual and have fun with it. There are many ways to rekindle that passion among you. And not only with this, but also with small gestures of love during the day. Fall in love like you did at the beginning but with new ideas.
-Surprise your partner with small details and gestures of love. Help each other at home or shopping and that the work is always balanced between the two.
Is it advisable to attend couples therapy?
As we mentioned before, to save a frayed relationship, it is highly recommended to go to couple’s therapy. This will help them know how to solve and act on this situation or problem. Thank you because they will have a very professional and objective opinion on the matter.
Going to therapy with your partner is having an expert person who will seek with you to resolve personal conflicts that you may have separately and then address the situation and the impact that these conflicts are having on the couple or marriage.
However, remember that every couple is totally unique. So, to attend couples therapy, it should be taken into account that: both of you must be willing to receive this help and open to listen to the advice you have to give them.
They should choose a type of therapy that suits their needs. And of course, know the type of skill that the therapist has. All of the above in order to ensure the success of each session and seek a solution for your relationship in crisis.
How long does a relationship crisis last?
There really is no specific duration for a relationship crisis, as these are circumstances to which not everyone reacts in the same way. What may be insignificant for you and your partner, for others could be decisive in whether or not to continue with the relationship.
However, many times when we find ourselves in a crisis in our relationship, the first thought is to let it pass alone; This, on the one hand, could be seen as a way of not making the problem bigger, but in the long run what it will cause is a series of grudges and pride, both of which are harmful to any relationship.
At the same time, it is important to be able to discern when a crisis has a solution and when it does not. Well, it also happens that we get so attached to trying to solve a problem that when we realize it, we are in a relationship out of pure comfort and habit. Without anything that excites or motivates them and, of course, without a true emotional commitment.
Remember: don’t save a relationship that is toxic or abusive.
The stability of your relationship must be built from love, respect and effective communication between you, putting yourself in the shoes of the other, choosing understanding over outbursts and staying in balance between what you can give and what you expect to receive is the recipe to maintain a happy marriage and avoid couple crises.
