When we start a new relationship, we are expecting that anything can happen. There are still many to learn, and especially know how to adapt to the life of your new partner. Especially if your new partner has children and they don’t seem to like you very much. Have you had problems with your partner’s children? Follow our advice so that it does not affect your relationship.
What is the best time to meet my stepchildren?
Meeting your partner’s children, depending on how you see it, may or may not be a big commitment. But it will always be something important. There is no specific day or exact time to meet them and because of this it is necessary that it is a subject that your partner and you dominate perfectly.
Reaching an agreement can stay to know them and present you as a friendship, so that little by little they will enter into trust until the time comes to tell them that the friendship passed to a higher level.
On the other hand, relationships take time before naming a serious relationship, which is why the most prudent thing is to hope that it has been consolidated and that both are sure of the decision to be together, so that you can then meet your stepchildren and tell them directly that you are the partner of their father or mother.
It is important to know the age of your stepchildren, as it is a fundamental factor in making the decision to present them. If the children are young, they can easily understand the situation that is developing, but if they are very children you will have to leave with a little calmer so that they can understand what you mean when you explain that you are the partner of your father or mother.
How do I deal with my partner if they have children I don’t want or are a problem?
When we are faced with the tortuous situation of having a partner with children who are a problem or difficult to deal with, it can lead to having many problems with our partner. Therefore, even if you do not want it or it is difficult for you, if you want to maintain your relationship, you must improve the relationship with your partner’s children.
The first thing you should do is stay calm. It is not healthy for you to have a defensive or aggressive attitude to any uncomfortable situation that may arise. Don’t become the enemy.
Why is communication with your partner important? Because in a common situation, children will try under any circumstances to leave you as the bad guy. You can avoid this if you have a healthy and honest conversation with your partner about why their children are being very difficult.
But be careful, because the last thing you want to do is rant about your children right in his face, the idea of keeping him informed is so that he feels your intentions to improve both the relationship with him and his children.
Propose a talk among all, a group outing, or a therapy at home, since such problems must be solved immediately. And of course, your partner should feel the same interest as you in wanting to solve the problems.
Children will always be jealous of a new member of the family, especially when they are older. You just have to give them time to adjust to their new environment.
Tips for a better relationship with your partner’s children
Having a good relationship with your partner’s children is very important so that the love relationship is not total chaos all the time. It does not mean that you should be their new mother if you do not want it, just having a good coexistence and that they get along with each other, will be enough to create harmony.
Feelings of love, affection and family develop over time. It is not good to force the situation, nor to force them to accept you. Give them their time and above all try to keep the following tips:
Give them their own space
Don’t abruptly jump into their affairs just to show that you’re interested or that they can trust you. When they are ready, they will look for you on their own. In the meantime, you can limit yourself to giving your opinion on certain occasions and support them in anything they need.
Always respect your father or mother
In most situations, young children or teens are wary of a new woman in their lives because they feel she is a replacement for their mother, just like with the father. Either because he died or because he separated from the family nucleus. In their minds, they still don’t accept the idea of their parent being with someone else.
Therefore, it is necessary to make them understand in a good way that you are not there to replace their parents and at all times address yourself respectfully when you express yourself from them, this will allow you to gain a little trust from the children and they will feel calmer with your presence.
Always set limits
This point is quite important, although you are not their legal representative you cannot act as the best friend in the world since they will try at some point to exceed that trust. Therefore, it is prudent that you establish limits that even you respect in terms of the way you treat and talk to yourself.
It is also important that you take into account the limits that have to be taken in your relationship with respect to the participation of children.
Have better communication
Communication is important because it opens a portal of fluency and trust that always helps. Therefore, we recommend that to the extent that you can communicate with them, treat them with confidence and love and remember that it is not necessary for them to talk 24/7, but a constant conversation is good.
Talk about things we have in common
There are many topics of conversation so try to discover what your partner’s children like the most to create affinity. You also have to keep in mind that many times they will not be in the mood to talk and at that time it is best to leave them alone and respect their space.
Can my relationship work if I don’t get along with my partner’s children?
This is the question of the millions of all women who have had or have problems with their partners’ children. Two situations can develop:
- The problems are caused by you: Children and adolescents are very perceptive. And if you have any kind of bad intention towards them or towards their father, they will immediately know it and of course they will turn against you. Don’t be so toxic.
- Problems are caused by them: Because of jealousy, or bad attitudes, children don’t want to accept you.
Your relationship can continue, if the problems are not caused by you and your partner is committed to helping you improve the attitude of their children. Otherwise, you are the reason for the problems, be prepared to leave that family nucleus soon if you do not change your attitude.
What are the obligations I have to my partner’s children?
When starting a relationship with a person with children you have to know that this does not generate any responsibility for them. Your partner’s children are your partner and if there is any responsibility it is by your own desire and not because something imposes it on you.
The first thing to remember is that you are not their father or mother and therefore you should not act as such, nor are you a close friend so it is necessary that both go step by step finding their place.
Try to create a bond where you inspire respect for being an adult and for being the partner of your father / mother, but also a bond that inspires confidence and tranquility. If they are staying in your home then you can cover their basic needs. You can also, whenever you want and if they allow it, develop and extend your protective instinct.
